Sing Along Time
by llamaBoyPH
Summary: Just wrote this ASoUE spoof out of boredom. The siblings are on the run after they got off the island in the thirteenth novel, and so they decided to spoof some popular songs. Rated K for some drug references and crude humor.
1. Chapter 1

_**"Baudelaire Sing-Along Time" by Llamaboy**_

Disclaimer: If you're looking for a series of rather absurd and sad books by Daniel Handler, you're probably at the wrong website.  
This fanfic isn't writen, nor is endorsed by Handler, Tom Clancy or any other author you can think of.

While looking for a place to hide, Violet and her brother Klaus stumbled upon a guitar and a songbook. Overcome by boredom and too much lulz, they then lampooned at their lives through some parody music (HINT: Violet likes Weird Al, too.).

"Hey look, a guitar!" exclaimed Klaus.

"Seen," Sunny applauded.

"Where did you learn that from, Sunny?" asked Violet as she scratched her head.

"Bob Marley, maybe?" Klaus quipped.

"Word," replied Violet, "Any more and we'll probably end up face-to-face with Little Jacob,"

The boy then gave her sister the guitar, and decided to parody a Will Smith song...

* * *

_"Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, er, Baudelaire"_

_Now, this is a story all about how  
Our life got flipped-turned, house torn down  
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there,  
I'll tell you how I became a runaway kid Baudelaire_

_In east coast America, born and raised,  
On the Briny was where I spent most of my days  
Eatin' some ice cream, inventing my tools  
My bro's reading some novels outside of the school_

_And a cruel old guy  
Who was up to no good  
Starts committing arson in my lovely hood  
I was here just egging crabs and ol' Poe then said  
And quipped 'You're movin' with your siblings and uncle in his lair'_

_I then saw ol' Poe's cab and when it came near  
The license plate said "DAWG" and it had eight-track recorders  
If anything I can say that his cab was pimped But I thought 'Aw, just screw it' - 'It won't be despair'_

_We ran away his shack about 7 or 8,  
And I yelled to the Countie 'Yo homes smell ya later'  
I looked at my brother, 'twas like GTA III  
And folks, here I am, Violet Baudelaire._

* * *

Turn to Chapter II for another song parody... God Bless and enjoy... ^_^


	2. Because of You

**Chapter II - _Because of You_**

Violet Baudelaire decides to get a guitar and sing about her life, Ne-Yo style:

_[To the tune of Because of You by Ne-Yo]_

_[Verse 1]  
Olaf's there, I can't help it  
I hate the way it feels,  
We're got us stuck between a tragedy and smoking weed  
I make a lot of gadgets, My brother's reading books  
My sister's biting everyday, had my panties gnawed_

_[Bridge]  
We're framed of arson and I don't know what to do about it  
Even if I did, Count Olaf will make us pissed but I doubt it  
I'm really overwhelmed by it_

_And I know this much is true  
Our turf blew, and we're close to conviction, we're now runaways too  
I can barely move and I hate it_

_[Chorus]  
And they say our lives are screwed [3X]  
And it's all because...  
Blame it on Olaf,  
He just pissed me off._

_[Verse 2]  
Think of it every second  
I can get out of here,  
Only concern are the white brats, cause they do make me bummed  
Know I should stay away from, fuzz who are finding me  
I try and try but bounty hunters, wont let me free_

_[Bridge]  
We're framed of arson and I don't know what to do about it  
Even if we did, the cops will chase us like Carl Johnson on a run*****  
I'm really overwhelmed by it_

_And I know this much is true  
Our turf blew, and we're close to conviction, we're now runaways too  
I can barely move and I hate it_

_[Chorus]  
And they say our lives are screwed [3X]  
And it's all because...  
Blame it on Olaf,  
He just pissed me off._

_Ain't no doubt, so crapped up [2X]  
Over you, over you, over you_

_I ran away,  
Cause they say our lives are screwed,  
Blame it on Olaf,  
He just pissed me off, he just pissed me off..._

*****Reference to GTA: San Andreas.


	3. Bohemian Rhapsody

**Baudelairean Rhapsody**  
To the tune of **Bohemian Rhapsody** by Queen

[Violet]  
Is this the real life?  
Is this from Lemony?  
Our life just messed up,  
Wish this is just a comedy.  
Oh what a life, Look into my bro and 'sis,  
I'm just a rich girl, I'm in a tragedy,  
I guess it's easy come, man it blows,  
Outta' luck, kinda owned,  
I've heard that Count Olaf,  
Just wants to steal money from me, from me.

[Klaus] Olaf, just killed a man,  
Put a harpoon on a guy,  
Pulled the trigger, now he died.  
Olaf, he had blown our home,  
So now I'm gone and broke and ran away.  
Mama, ooh, didn't mean to leave you pied,  
I would've came back home that time for dinner,  
I dunno, 'bout the Count, but he just wants all our money.

Too late, ol' Poe has come,  
It's chilling on my mind, when our mansion blew that time.  
Goodbye, my dear lib'ry, I have to go,  
Gotta leave you with my 'sis and go somewhere.  
Sunny, ooh, I don't wanna cry,  
I sometimes think I'd live in the streets at all.*

[Siblings]  
I see a lardy silhouetto of a man,  
Mr. Poe, Mr. Poe, will you give us some bank notes?  
Theatre troupe and arson, very, very fright'ning me!  
Punctilio! Punctilio!  
Punctilio! Punctilio!  
Punctilio, V.F.D.  
Sensational!

[Klaus]  
I'm just a rich nerd and somebody slapped me.

[Henchmen]  
He's just a poor nerd from a rich family,  
Living their lives in a darned travesty.

[Klaus]  
Outta luck, outta buck, will you let me go?

[Henchmen]  
Count Olaf! No, we will not let you go!

[Siblings]  
Let us go!

[Henchmen]  
Count Olaf! We will not let you go!

[Sunny]  
Let him go! [Henchmen]  
Count Olaf! We will not let you go!

[Sunny]  
Let me go!

[Henchmen]  
Will not let you go!

[Violet]  
Let me go!

[Henchmen]  
Will not let you go!

[Siblings]  
Let me go! Ah...

[Henchmen]  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Siblings]  
Oh puttanesca, puttanesca! Uncle Olaf, let us go.

[Klaus]  
Aunt Josephine has a drumset put aside for me, for me, for me...

[Klaus]  
So you think you can fool me with your thin disguise?  
So you think you can slap me and leave me to die?  
Oh, Sunny, won't let you mess up, Sunny,  
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

[Violet] He just wants our money, Lemony can see,  
He just wants our money,  
He just wants our money, from me.  
Anyway, this book slows.

_* The Bad Beginning, chapter five - " Clearly, we cannot stay here any longer. I would rather take my chances on the streets than live in this terrible place..."_


End file.
